Have you ever considered where your beliefs about relationships come from? This is a question brought to my attention by entrepreneur and Canadian business woman Penny Phang of www.PennyPhang.com. I was rivited by the question, realizing I had my own thoughts on the subject that I wanted to share here.

First, let me say that beliefs are not the same as truth – certainly not Truth with a capital “T.” Beliefs come to us from a variety of sources. Our parents pass down to us beliefs their parents taught them, who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents, and so forth. Beliefs also develop from experience. If no one ever told you to not touch a hot stove because you’d burn yourself if you did, it would only take touching a hot stove one time to create that belief in you!

Beliefs develop from what our teachers, preachers, parents, and peers tell us as well as from the experiences we have with those people. If you have one parent who is especially loving and another that is punitive, you grow up with a different set of beliefs from your next door neighbor who had two especially loving parents (or two punitive parents). (more…)